so bad

today is public holiday for it is Maulidur Rasul. i forgot what it stands for... :P
which mean i have 3 days of free time, Saturday, Sunday and Monday... and i should have been making full use of this opportunities to settle all my unsolved solvable business. still, i just... =.=

haih... is there any solid, definite, extreme and good unselfish way in which i can change into a better person or a step closer to it? i do know what i have to do but, i just could not get myself to obediently do what i ought to. it is just so frustrating and devastating to myself... and this is not a freaking first time.

jeez... God! i am such a failure and a damn loser!!! fuck it all. damn! i am so mad at myself!!!

opsss... did i just used the f word. damn. before you go into any conclusion, just make a decent research on how the word F.U.C.K originated from first... :P

my rommie said that i should just as well proceed with the f word in this post since i really am an impolite, rude person according to her. haha... so, i am just being true to myself here? am i that vulgar of a person??? oh, no!!! where did all my ladylike qualities went to? that provides if i have any... =X die, die, die...

p/s: dun trust my roommie...