frust! and cure?

I am going to turn 23 soon. Feeling kind of old~~~ duh...

Over with my final exam papers for this trimester. Currently having free time on my hands and is getting bored. What should I do for fun??? Hmm...

I have been thinking, regretting and trying to resolute on my views on life. What good deeds have I done for myself and others? What should I have done instead to avoid those bad stuffs from happening again? Hmm... I really am still growing mentally and emotionally. Aargghhh... the worst part is that I gained 10kg in 1 year! WTH!!! It's freaking 10KG!!! Haizz... I am so doomed! Something must have gone wrong at some point. How can I turn things around?

*Sigh~~~*

I know, I know. I should have more self-discipline and self-constraints. Haiz... Whatever. So many frustrations and so many regrets... I am so freaking emo right now~~~

Tired, wanna sleep. Night.

Here is something to spice up my emo emo situation. haha...



This one too.



I don't really understand what is the song about. However, they gave me a feeling of saying good bye to those bad memories and welcoming and hoping for new good things to happens. haha...

Aaahh... found it!

L'arc-En-Ciel - The Fourth Avenue Cafe

L'arc-En-Ciel - Dive To Blue

hahaha... I do know that "the sun will come out tomorrow". Feeling better now. Love Laruku always. (^.^)

The GazettE

hahaha... I am so excited. It has been a while since I last felt this way. I am talking about the kind of excitement I get whenever I found something damn good to obsessed about. wahahahahahaha..........

Introducing my new founds favourite JRock band, The GazettE.

sodahead.com

Other than the great rocking L'Arc~en~ciel and devilishly sexy beautiful Gackt, I am now falling head over heel for this rather new Visual Kei band. I won't go on blabbing about the facts and numbers. Here is the link if you want to learn more about The GazettE from Wikipedia. They don't seems to have their own website yet. Well, I guess it is just a matter of time.

the3dempire.cjb.net

I first heard about GazettE from a friend in my Friendster account. My first impression was, "Aaahh... another Visual Kei band. Heavy makeup and ridiculous clothings. Wonder if they can actually sing? Maybe just another pretty faces and overrated gimmicks." In case you are wondering, I fancy Gackt and not Malice Mizer. So, I didn't give The GazzettE another thought.

japanwallpaper.blogspot.com

Months later, I was talking to my Japanese Language sensei about Japanese singers and bands. She seems to like Gackt too, which is a good thing. Then, she suggested that I must have like GazettE as well if I love L'Arc~en~ciel. Therefore, today I thought it would be good to give GazettE a try. And now, I have to eat my own words. huhuhuhuhu~~~ They definitely can sing and produce rocking music.

blog.sanriotown.com

Let me just quote this from Wikipedia :
"The Gazette's musical style varies greatly, but it is generally thought of to be a form of Rock Music, also commonly dwelling into the genres of Heavy Metal and Alternative Metal. Songs like "Silly God Disco" feature a funk rock styled sound, while "SWALLOWTAIL ON THE DEATH VALLEY" features a hard rock styled sound, while songs like "Maggots", "Discharge" and "Headache Man" dwell into heavier forms of Music, in particular, Alternative Metal. The release of the new album DIM showed The GazettE producing a more Experimental sound than in older Albums, while retaining their Alternative Metal styled sound, shown in songs such as "OGRE". The Gazette also uses a wide range of synthesised sounds during their songs, mainly female voices, shown in songs such as "SWALLOWTAIL ON THE DEATH VALLEY" and "Filth in the Beauty". The Gazette has also produced a number of lighter rock songs, such as "Calm Envy" and "Cassis"."

bleachasylum.com

Cassis is the first Gazette's song that I listened to and I am immediately melted by it. Ruki's voice just blew me away. It is pretty much unexpected. Cassis sounds so sad and yet very clear. How to better describe my thoughts and feelings toward this song? Erm... It felt like I can understand every words and emotions of the song thanks to Ruki's capability in expressing and singing it. I had some mixed but good feelings about it.





I am trying to listen to their other songs as well and are also fond of like these two.








Burial Applicant, Ganges Ni Akai Bara, Gentle Lie, Filth In The Beauty and Circle Of Swindler from their "Stacked Rubbish" album sound good too. Sometimes, I can't help relating some of their sound to Gackt's or Laruku's or Hyde's. Other than that, this band is pretty new to me.

edohsama.blogspot.com

In my own humble opinion, L'Arc~en~ciel is an established successful great JRock band while The GazettE is an upcoming and rising talented new JRock band. I will keep my eye on The GazettE as well now. haha...

***update: I found their website.

わたし の はいどさん。

i am having this seductively smiling picture of Hyde as my wallpaper but my friends are complaining that he look like a girl.


where got? i do not think Hyde look like a girl at all. look... みって ください。

VAMPS is Hyde solo project together with a guy named K.A.Z

Hyde's alter ego in P'unk~en~Ciel

so, will you please tell me now which part of him is girlish? i just could not see it. to me, Hydeさん is really すごい と かっこい ですね。

and he can be funny too...

as vocalist and main song writer in L'Arc~en~Ciel

photo shoot during Theater of Kiss in Paris promotions

ル'アルク~エン~クイエル

anyway and anyhow, Hydeさん is and will always be my favourite japanese rocker. remember to check out their latest release of the Theater of Kiss concert DVD.

春雨里洗过的太阳 ; Spring Rain Washed Over The Sun

back to 26th of December in year 2008, the XinTiao album by my favourite Lee Hom Wang was released. it has 10 songs and i like the 3rd track the most. so, here is it. the lyric of this song for you to share the rythms in my heart. haha... enjoy. all credits go to Lee Hom and the www.com

春雨里洗过的太阳
by: 王力宏



分開之後另一年的春天
記憶也像下雪一樣溶解
那些有你在身邊的影片
呼的一聲飛的老遠老遠

愛在夏天過完之後鎖在秋天
捱過冬天之後的我好了一些
嘿 雨後的天上 彩虹出現 襯出一片藍天

我在淋過一場大雨之後的晴朗
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落 傷得多深
然後忽然看懂雲的形狀

If listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落 傷得多深
每個呼吸都是 新的芬芳

分開之後另一年的春天
記憶也像下雪一樣溶解
那些有你在身邊的影片
呼的一聲飛的老遠老遠

愛在夏天過完之後鎖在秋天
但捱過冬天之後的我好了一些
嘿 雨後的天上 彩虹出現 襯出一片藍天

我在淋過一場大雨之後的晴朗
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落 傷得多深
然後忽然看懂雲的形狀

If listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落 傷得多深
每個呼吸都是 新的芬芳

流下的眼淚 留下了智慧
愛情會天亮也一定會黑
世界會等我 它會問我冬天過去了沒

我在淋過一場大雨之後的晴朗
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落 傷得多深
然後忽然看懂雲的形狀

If listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain
那是春雨裡洗過的太陽
每個冬季帶來失落 傷得多深
每個呼吸都是 你的芬芳
春雨裡洗過的太陽


~~pinyin~~

Chun Yu Li Xi Guo De Tai Yang
by: Wang Lee Hom

Fen kai zhi hou ling yi nian de chun tian
Ji yi ye xiang xia xue yi yang rong jie
Na xie you ni zai shen bian de ying pian
Hu de yi sheng fei de lao yuan lao yuan

Ai zai xia tian guo
Wan zhi hou suo zai qiu tian
Ai guo dong tian zhi hou de
Wo hao le yi xie hei
Yu hou de tian shang
Cai hong chu xian
Chen chu yi pian lan tian

* wo zai lin guo yi chang
Da yu zhi hou de qing lang
Na shi chun yu li xi guo de tai yang
Mei ge dong ji dai lai shi luo
Shang de duo shen
Ran hou hu ran kan dong yun de xing zhuang

If listen to the rhythm of the pouring rain
Na shi chun yu li xi guo de tai yang
Mei ge dong ji dai lai shi luo
Shang de duo shen
Mei ge hu xi dou shi xin de fen fang

(Repeat All)

Liu xia de yan lei
Liu xia le zhi hui
Ai qing hui tian liang
Ye yi ding hui hei
Shi jie hui deng wo
Ta hui wen wo dong
Tian guo qu le mei

(Repeat *)

Chun yu li xi guo de tai yang

Happy New Year 2009

it is still January and i can say Happy New Year!!! haha...

hello hello. how is everyone doing? repeating the same old cycle of making new year resolutions and trying to finish it all in December? haha... the truth is i never have any resolution at all. haha... ridiculous you may think. but that is me.

i do not see the significant of having a resolution at all :P you either do it or you do not. as simple as that. why would you bother making so many things up if you know you are never going to fulfill it. come whatever may and just know that you are going to be better than the old you, right? as time goes by, people do mature whether they want to or not. to me, it is always changes toward the best. good luck in your life everyone. may this year of Ox be generous and prosperous for me. haha...

talking about growing up, do you know Dakota Fanning? the cute and brilliant child starlet. she stared in Hide and Seek with Robert De Niro, War of The Worlds with Tom Cruise, The Cat in The Hat with Mike Myers, Man on Fire with Denzel Washington, I am Sam with Sean Penn and many more. borned in year 1994, and a big fan of Hello Kitty she really rocks hollywood with her God given acting talents.

look at her now, already grown up into such a babe... woalaa...

however, being a celebrity since childhood appears to have it downfalls. i just wish that she does not turn out like how Lindsay L, Britney S or Drew B used to be. may her path is on the brighter side. all the best and keep on shining, baby! haha...

Zettai Kareshi - Night Tenjou by Hayami Mokomichi

first of all, zettai kareshi a.k.a absolute boyfriend is among many of Watase Yuu sensei's famous works and definitely one of my top favourite mangas. Night Tenjou is my absolute male character in all Yuu sensei's works. yeah, i prefer that robot than others! i just like him so much that it is still capable of making my heart skips and jumps faster whenever i look at this picture that i steal from onemanga half a year ago. hehe...

introducing Night Tenjou from Kronos Heaven

oh, my God!!! i am so helpless... look! look at this one too...

the most ideal absolute boyfriend. haha...

waaaa... or should i say kyaaa...? haha... i am so excited. not in the bad way, okay!
...
...
...

well, maybe a little. kakaka...

Soshi Asamoto, Riiko Izawa, and Night Tenjou

i was looking into a forum and found out that at 5th of April year 2008, Fuji TV first broadcasted Zettai Kareshi drama series nationwide in japan. the main point is, that we have live action absolute boyfriend now!!! yippiee... yeah... happy happy me... or that was how my first reaction went. there are differences in the story line and characters between manga and drama of course. but, i think i can still handle it. haha...

live action Zettai Kareshi

Malaysia CD and book stores are selling this baby nationwide. oh, my God again!!! how should i express my excitement and anxieties? i have mixed feelings. part of me want to watch this manga turning into live action, another part feel uncertain as the live action may spoil what i like in the manga. some japanese movies are just plain boring as the flow of their stories are too slow. what i really truly like so far are GTO by Takashi Sorimachi as the devil Eiikichi Onizuka and Power Office Girls or Shonumi starring Makiko Esumi as Chinatsu Tsuboi. anyway, i still do watch other japanese dramas though.

moving on, i noticed that my Night Tenjou was being acted out by Hayami Mokomichi.

the picture said it all

this name does not ring a bell but he look familiar. so i took a closer look and...

now i see ;-)

hahaha... this guy starred in Gokusen 2 before.

Gokusen 2 main casts

yea, i remember him now. the tallest guy in the whole class.


how could i forgot this tall, dark, and handsome guy. haiya... but, i have to say that his role in Gokusen 2 is minor while in Zettai Kareshi, he played my great Night Tenjou, the leading male character.

looking into Youtube, i think he did a pretty good job as Night. so, maybe i will purchase this set of DVDs for two obvious reasons.

one, to look at my Night Tenjou being brought to live and...


second, to watch my new found japanese actor, Hayami Mokomichi performing in this series. haha...


p/s: all photos are not taken by or originated from me. i use the world wide web baby.

drink it down

this is laruku latest single which is also the official theme song for japanese devil may cry 4 game. released in january 2008. enjoy.




that is why i like l'arc~en~ciel, they are something and somebody. their works have a class of its own. they have clear visions and missions of what and how they want to become. not just a 'wannabe' group. go laruku.

laruku in paris

tomorrow is my first paper for final exam.

latest news from laruku, they were at paris during may, just recently, performing life to thousands of their france fans. wondering when will they come to malaysia. i am so looking forward to see them live. may this dream do come true one day.


i envy those fans in france...

slow

i know that i always took a long time to post something new. it is not that i am lazy or out of idea, but i prefer to blog only when something big or important happened and i could write good remarks on it. a pretty lame excuse, right? haha...

viewing my friendster photos just now, under "my love love attack" album, i realize that they are all asian guys with japanese style long hair (except Lee Hom Wang). so, i was thinking maybe my viewers, if there are any, would have misunderstood that i like pretty face, heavily dressed and all make up guys. well, that is not true.

what i am looking for in a man is not much different from some typical ladies. ( i do want and hope to become ladylike.) in my opinion, a man is most attractive when they are in their 30's. not to say that i only pursue older guys, but it is their maturity and... maybe the term "gentleman" like those posses by Daniel Henney can best explain what i meant to say.



okay, let me elaborate further so you may understand me better. take Daniel for an example, he is now in his 20's ( born 28th of November 1979), well late 20's, but he has a maturity, self assurance, dignity, and life motivation that are unbreakable. he is confident not arrogant, self-assured not selfish, strong yet sensitive, set his own moves rather than just following the crowd, successful yet humble, and he is independent. or at least, that is how i look at him. he is a man, not a boy.



so, i like mentally matured, physically masculine and emotionally dependable kind of man. erm... is it too much? when i say emotionally dependable, i did not mean that a man must never cry. i do not want to be with a robot for the rest of my life. however, i must stress that i am not looking for mr. perfect or mr. ideal, but only someone who is just perfect for me. twisted words, huh?

well, i have this kind of vision that my guy would just be simple. comfortable in t-shirt and jeans or shorts while still look smart in suits. the one who make me at ease when i am just moderately dress and feel appreciated when i am dressing up. the one to lift me up when i fall, and to be sincerely happy when i succeed. the one who always encourage not cruelly criticize. the one to pin point my mistakes with cares and love.

is unconditional love merely a myth? and do happily ever after only live inside fairy tales? haha... i almost lost faith in true love. the world is witnessing wedding unions as much as divorces everyday. but, when looking at old couples holding hands, walking side by side, even if with canes and having happy conversations together, i want to believe in love again. i want to give it a chance. i do not want to surrender without a fair fight. therefore, i also want you to be wise in love and wish you all the best. may cupids and God always be with you. bless and love. take care.

野に咲く花のように

no ni saku hana no you ni

by: Gackt M. Sawasdee Camui

daremo inai GURAUNDO no namae kizanda sakura no shita
itsuka kimi to mou ichido
koko ni kuru koto wo yakusoku shiyou
CHAIMU no hibiku koutei no
katasumi ni saku hana no you ni
yasashiku waratte kureta kimi dake ni tsutaetai
tada "arigatou" to...
bokutachi wa itsu no hi ni ka
mata kono basho de deau sono hi made
no ni saita hana no you ni
kesshite makezu ni tsuyoku sakitai

kayoi nareta kono michi mo
kyoushitsu kara mieru keshiki mo

"itsumademo wasurenai yo"

to namida ukabeta, kimi no egao mo
itsumo minareta yuugure ga sakura namiki wo somete yuku
bokutachi wa sorezore no omoide wo
mune ni daite aruki hajimeru
itsuka mita yume no basho e tadori tsuku made
akiramenaide
mada na mo nai hana dakeredo
kesshite makezu ni tsuyoku sakitai

itsu no hi ka aruite kita michi wo
furikaeru toki ga kuru made
no ni saita hana no you ni
kesshite makezu ni tsuyoku sakitai
bokutachi wa itsu no hi ni ka
mata kono basho de deau sono hi made
no ni saita hana no you ni
kesshite makezu ni tsuyoku sakitai
kesshite makezu ni tsuyoku sakitai
sakitai...

translation:

like the flowers that bloom in the field

No one has engraved their name on the ground beneath the cherry tree
So let's make a promise to
come here together again someday and do that
Like the flowers that bloom in the corner of the schoolyard,
where the echoing of the school bell can be heard
I want to express to you, who gently smiled for me,
a simple "Thank you"
One of these days, we'll meet here again,
so until that day...
I want you to grow stronger and never-give-up,
like the flowers that bloom in the field

The road we got used to walking down,
and the scenery we saw from our classroom
With a smile upon your face and tears in your eyes you said,
"I'll remember them forever"
We got used to always seeing, the setting sun coloring the rows of cherry blossom trees
And as we begin to walk towards the future,
we'll hold each and every one of these memories in our hearts
Until you reach the place of the dreams you've envisioned
Don't ever give up
You are flowers that have yet to be named,
but I want you to grow stronger and never give up no matter what

Someday, when the time comes
to look back down the path you've walked
I want you to have grown stronger and have not given up,
like the flowers that bloom in the field
One of these days,
we'll meet here again, so until that day...
I want you to grow strong and never give up,
like the flowers that bloom in the field
I want you to grow strong and never give up,
I want you to flourish... (1)

*Notes: (1) sakitai... literally, it means "i want you to bloom" but he is saying it to the effect of, "i want you to grow and flourish" because he wants them to grow stronger as they grow up.

P/S: i got this translations from gackt's fan website. not my own materials but it help me to understand this song better and i also wanted you to. the singer, Gackt is a japanese and you may find out more about him from Wikipedia, and Virtual Japan.

i love love love this song very much. simply because it is beautiful, both in melodies and lyrics. it also has a wonderful meaning especially about our good old school days.

Gackt, his singing just pierce into my hearts. i can never get enough of him. he has so much talents and good, cool personality. being a perfectionists and a very competitive person, you can always expect to get the best performances from him. he like to push himself to the limits. he can play various instruments, and acts too.

some people said he looks like a woman, which is not uncommon for jrock and jpop artists. but, i always see gackt as a lone wolf, cool beautiful mysterious lonely successful male artist. afterwards, from japan shows in youtube, i begin to see him more as an approachable person, a shy, humble, delicate, strong, funny, kind hearted, reserved, still lonely, and ... i just run out of words to describe him. haih... maybe the term 'hana yori dango' suits him better.

he is a big fan of martial arts, having trained in judo, karate, kick boxing and others. he is a little under 6 feet tall, with lean body, and has the bad habit of smoking. gackt prefers night to day, hates sweets, and prefers candle light over electric. it is said that the only lights on in his home are always candles.

he also had a pet dog and a cat. this one here is belle, his pet dog that deceased some time ago.

however, being a typical female fan, i prefer to see different sides (or the softer side) of this lone wolf. that is why i always search for domoto kyoudai, heyX3 and utaban shows in youtube to watch gackt interviews and talks. he is a non-believer in marriage. haha... why am i not surprised. i believe he is a straight guy despite all those fan-based rumours.

ok, moving to his discographies, so far, i like the songs no ni saku hana no you ni, kono dare mo inai heya de, last song, love letter, orenji no taiyou, arittake no ai de, redemption, kimi ni aitakute, seven, todokanai, tea cup, illness illusion, black stone, white eyes, and soleil. there are still more of his songs, but i am not able to get to all of them yet. as time goes by, i will listen to all of them. besides, i think him leaving malice mizer in 1998 and went solo was a wise step. he has his own band now called GacktJOB. gackt begin to open up more when he is doing solo.

why do i like gackt so much?
he is talented, mostly as a singer, also as an entertainer.
hard worker,
ambitious,
true to himself,
his deep voice,
his belief in himself,
successful yet humble,
him being a martial artists,
his coolness,
unintended jokes,
sometimes make cute innocent remarks,
he can be funny at times.

i just love Gackt. there is much more to say about him but, this is as much as i could think of to say about him right now. i will keep on rooting for gackt.

P/S.S: photos are taken widely from internet, no violation of copyright or originality are ever intended. this post is dedicated to gackt fans such as myself.